2/26/2012

Zayn Imagine

#Imagine You're eating breakfast with Zayn. You are really depressed all the time and you've been hurting yourself too but you don't want to tell him because you're afraid of his reaction. You're sitting there with only wearing a hoodie which hides your arms & wrists. "It's weird to ask how are you because we spent last night together -as always-, but how are you?" He says. You giggle a little. "I'm just fine" You say while smiling, but you are looking sadly down. Sometimes it's just hard to smile for him and even to try to look him in the eyes. Especially when he's so happy and you are depressed. That's what you get when you try to hide your feelings as well as you can. "Are you sure?" He asks suddenly. You freeze. The smile you faked a minute ago disappears. You try to get it back. "Yeah, I'm just a bit tired, but still fine" You say nervously. He knows you too well. You know you can't lie for him no longer, you got to tell him what's going on somehow, but that's the problem, you don't know how. You reach for something on the table and then it happens. He sees your cutted wrists as your hoodies sleeve goes too much upwards. Tears are flowing down your face and in one second he takes you in his arms.

You don't know what to think, should you just run away and leave him clueless? So many different thoughts are running in your head. You think that now he's going to leave you and you start to cry more. "Baby..." He's voice cracks and you hear him sobbing. You look up, his in tears too. Of course now you're feeling even more bad because first he saw your wrists, then you started to think he's gonna leave you, and now he's crying because of you. "Zayn I.. I don't know what to say.." You whisper. "Maybe you could first explain why you've done that to yourself, I thought you could tell everything to me, but I quess I was wrong.." He says sounding disappointed, hurt, scared and a bit angry you think, but somehow you hear that he's worried about you too. "I'm just so depressed all the time! Everything I do is not going right. Everything around me is falling on my shoulders. I couldn't take this anymore. so I.. I.. I cutted myself.. I'm, I'm so sorry Zayn, I really am! I was afraid of your reaction of this whole depression thing, I though you'd leave me, and now you're angry and you still can leave me. I wanted to talk to you but I would've depressed you too" You say and you start to cry again. "Can I see your hands..?" He asks. You raise your hoodie's sleeves and show him your arms and wrists. They are full of cuts. He touches the cuts. One by one. You have no idea what he's doing or thinking. You're about to run away crying but Zayn hugs you tight and kisses your head. His eyes are in tears. "Baby you can talk to me about everything. Do you understand, everything. You know that we can get through everything together. When you're hurt, I'm hurt too. It drives me crazy to see what you've done to yourself, but I'm not angry, and totally not about to leave you. Just talk to me, and things gets better, I promise" He says and you hug him. He lifts your chin up, looks directly to your eyes and kisses you slowly. You can feel a tear falling from his cheek to yours. After a slow romantic kiss he hugs you again. "Don't worry baby, everything's gonna be alright. We are in this together" He says and you smile.

You spend the all day just talking to each other about everything or mostly about your depression and thoughts. After all it wasn't that bad. Zayn is the person who you want to spend forever with. He understands you and loves you for who you are. With him you can be just yourself. Sometimes you don't even realise how lucky you really are to have him. When the night comes and you two go to bed he says: "Y/N, I need you to promise me that you will never ever cut yourself again. If you feel bad, you know that I'm here only for you. I hope you know that it really hurts me to see you like you were this morning. I don't want to feel that pain ever again. So please realise that you can always talk to me about evrything. I know I've said it a million times today, but you need to know that. And also that I can't live without you, so don't hurt yourself. We can always find the solution to everything when we are together". You smile widely, and this time your smile is real. You couldn't be more happy. "I promise" You whisper and kiss him gently. You move your head to his chest. He starts to sing Moments to you and you slowly fall asleep with a huge smile on your face. "I love you beautiful, don't you forget that" He whispers before falling asleep too<3



I'd be glad to get some feedback xx Don't judge me if there's something wrong, English isn't my main language (: