Zayn Imagine

#Imagine You're looking at a picture of you and Zayn, your boyfriend. Without any feelings you let go of the picture which slowly falls on the floor, not like a feather but not like rock either. You are deeply in your thoughts. Actually you have no idea what you're thinking. You just sit there, with an empty look in your eyes. They are glazed, your eyes are glazed. You don't feel anything. This happens for the first time in years. Something isn't right. You are tired and very fed up with this situation; Zayn is touring somewhere behind god's back [don't take seriously] and you're at home, alone, without anyone to take care of you, without anyone to talk to. Of course there's your friends and family & Danielle and Eleanor, but the only one you want to be taking care of you and to talk to is Zayn. He's been away for so long. You can't even remember how long, or when he's coming back. Zayn has been very busy for past three days so he hasn't even called you, but you understand. You want to hear his voice, you want to hug him, kiss him longer than ever. You want him to be home. As minutes and hours goes by you start wondering what he's doing. You wanna call him but you know he wouldn't answer. He will call you when he gets time... After 2 hours you've fallen asleep on the couch.

You wake up at about 11am because your back is aching so much. You grab your phone and notice someone has texted you. The text message is from Zayn, it says: "Morning babe, I love you. I'm sorry for not calling you in days, been very busy! I hope you can forgive me, coming home today xx Z." You smile a little, your boyfriend is coming finally home. You stop smiling quickly. Getting the text doesn't feel as good as it's supposed to. There's still something in your mind from yesterday. You can still say everything's not alright, something's missing, or not. You start to feel like you can't handle this relationship anymore. You try to find a reason for what you are feeling. It could be all of the media attention and fans, but then, you love the boys' fans, directioners. Of course it's not nice to have paparazzi around you when you're trying to have fun with Zayn and girls are stalking you everytime you go out but you've got used to it. Kinda..Almost..Ok not exactly. It annoys you especially when you try to hang out with your friends. All you want is a little privacy, but you understand well. Zayn is famous and as his girlfriend you are famous too, this is kinda the price you have to pay for being with him. That should be enough, but no. You are getting hate from some of the fans. Some of the haters sends you death threats, some of them are trying to edit pictures of Zayn to look like he's cheating on you. You decide to take a look at twitter to find out what's going on. You scroll down your timeline and see a tweet from Zayn telling he's coming home to see his beautiful girlfriend. Then you see some girls tweeting Zayn that you are not enough for him but you don't classify it as hate. You open your mentions and what do you see? People hating on you more than before. One of the tweets goes like this: "You flacking whore, don't you know what pretty means? Of course not hahaha you ugly cow." The next one is: ")': I feel bad for Zayn because he really trust a slut. Have an idea who I'm talking about, slut?" You're starting to feel sick because all of these tweets. Then one jumps to your face: "Y/N. I want to strangle you by my own, bare hands. I want to bury you alive. Can't you see? Everyone hates you! Die." That's enough. You close your twitter and walk into your kitchen to get something to eat, your eyes are wet and you're close to tears. "I need to be tough for today, then I can end this" You say to yourself and swallow your tears. As the day goes by you find yourself thinking deeply so many times that you can't even count them anymore. The clock is coming closer to 8pm and Zayn will be home soon. Before he comes you want to make some hot chocolate and think a bit more before you act. You think about when you're going to do it; right after Zayn has come home or a bit later or do you leave it for tomorrow? No, you gotta do it tonight, you can't wait longer because you really can't handle this all. While you're thinking Zayn comes home. "Babe I'm home!" He shouts and sees you sitting in kitchen. You've been living at Zayn's for the time he's been away. Before you can even think what he said you're in his arms, hugging him tighter than ever or actually he's hugging you. He kisses your head and smiles like an angel. Zayn takes some hot chocolate too and sits down. "How's my baby?" He asks and still smiles like never before. "Ok.." You say and stare at the table. Zayn notices everything isn't right. "Hey.. What's going on?" He continues your little convo while trying to catch your eyes...

You haven't said anything for 5 minutes already. Zayn's just staring at you and you still at the table. How can you ever say what you are going to say? He will be so hurt. "Zayn..." You say weakly. He takes your hands and tries to look you in the eyes again."I can't do this anymore.." You continue "I feel like I can't handle this relationship anymore, this is too much ok? I have no privacy, we have no privacy! Everyone hates me and wants me to die. And then, you're away so many times in a month, I just miss you all the time, especially when you can't call me. It's killing me.. This is killing me.." Zayn is almost crying and you just started. He can't believe his ears. "Y/N... You don't love me anymore? Or is it just about fans and paparazzi and that I'm away? Please tell me you still love me, even if you have to lie! I can't live if the only one who I believe in says she doesn't love me anymore.." Now he cries and you feel worse than ever but you've decided to be tough, you can't give up. "I love you.. But I just can't do this any longer! It would be a different thing if I wouldn't get any hate! Or at least not death threats, but right now it's just impossible to be in this relationship. I really hope you understand what I'm saying.. Goodbye Zayn, I love you" You stand up and start walking towards the door. One tear finds a way out to your cheek but you wipe it away quickly. Zayn's body is numb. He doesn't move or say anything. You pick your only bag you have with you and touch the doorhandle. So many thoughts are in your head. By seeing Zayn's reaction you don't know anymore if you should stay or just go. You have no idea what's on Zayn's mind. "Baby please stay.." He whispers after a while. This is not what you wanted to happen, not at all. You can't leave, you don't want to leave, but if this relationship will be like this you can't stay either. "Please Y/N take one more breath and really think are you going to the right direction.. It's ok if you really want to go.. But please, think one more time because I think there's nowhere else we should be tonight.. We belong together" Zayn says and wipes his tears. You drop your bag and walk to him: "I'm not promising not to leaving, but let's talk a little.." He takes your hand and leads you to the couch and you both sit down. He takes his wallet from his pocket, opens it and shows you a picture.. The same picture you were watching yesterday.. "Look at us.. We look so young even though it's been ONLY two years.. " You smile and give him a little laugh. "I really missed that laugh" He smiles back at you but then get's serious and starts talking again. "Look Y/N, if you go now, I promise I'll understand. If you stay I already have a plan.." "A plan.. Zayn what are you talking about?" You look at him with questionable eyes. "We'd go out.. Only us two. I really wanna make everything up to you. Just you and me for the whole day, no fans no paparazzi... -" "But how?" You cut him off. "Honey, there's still 4 other members in One Direction, boys will help me!" Zayn laughs and continues "So yeah, we'd go to a fancy restaurant and then spend the rest of the day at a private beach. I would really like to have another day like we once had.. Us two at beach, singing, writing songs.. Just making new memories to share with our future children!" Thought of you two as parents makes you smile like an idiot. "We can get through this, I will make the hate and death threats stop and I promise to spend more time with you.. I mean, if you stay..." Zayn ends his little speech. You look at him and your eyes are sparkling. For the first time in a long time you feel good, really good actually. "Well? I still can't read your mind Y/N" He laughs. "Oh Zayn" You whisper and shoot him down to the couch. You sit on his stomach and kiss his lips for minutes. "I love you Y/N, don't you ever scare me like this again" He says and kisses your nose. "I won't, I love you too Zayn, I really do" You say and press yourself close against Zayn's chest, happier than ever.

Feedback is very welcome xx I'm sorry if there's any typos, English isn't still my main language xx